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. was svelte and slim compared to the 17 year old under Frank ... in the same bed."Well, I can't pay you with you laying on my arm," I said ... thinkin, 'I hope my wife never finds out!'Tubby rolled over ... at least as far as she could, what with Frank and the 17 year old ... Tubby had shit the bed.The smell ... oh God!I jumped up and the odor ... and the used alcohol hit me ... my head split wide open and dribbled my brain out both ears ... but I didn't fall down."Mom, where's your Depends?" asked the 17 year old. There was a full Depends tangled up in the sheets at the foot of the bed ... my feet had just come from those sheets.It looked for all the world like a shack and I guess it was but there was a Motel sign I could see through the window.'Motel ... bathroom ... bathroom ... shitter ... shitter ... fuck... ' in between each separate thought, my life passed before my eyes and even as bad as I hurt I saw the john door ... instinct and muscle memory moved my feet ... they were. Looking back, I can see that the terrible time I caused for her during late pregnancy contributed to her border-line mental illness, her obsession regarding me and her fears that she had birthed a monster, her pathological drive to keep me on the path of good.If she could have turned me into a priest or monk, she would have been overjoyed with that outcome for me, her first and only child, her Son.My Father was a weak willed man, who loved my Mother to a fault, and gave her full control over my upbringing, blinding himself to her near madness on the subject of me, insane in his own little way about one little item- his baby boy's treatment at the hands of his beloved wife.I mean, an infant, even one six times stronger than others, is still an infant. I can see the need for wrestler nannies and sumo bodyguards as I grew (I forgot to mention my parents were quite well off?) But was there really a need for weighted braces and the constant injections to debilitate me? I was told since I.
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